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XIIThe_Grey_OneXII
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Name: Jarek
Country: United States
State: Maine
Gender: Male
Interests: Contemplating the human mountain. Seeing more than should be seen. Trying not to look.
Expertise: There are many chosen paths bound in one body. Expertise is never achieved. As Wandering within we strive for an eternal better.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/29/2003
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| Malykai opened his eyes in agony, the day had begun again. The same tedium of demented war. The same enemies, the same loss of life. The ceaseless symphony of battle had become the only music he could hear. The cries of those he impailed. The faint muffled sound of their blood hitting the allready saturated soils. Dirty, reeking of human filth, unshaven, and hungover did he crawl from the pallet made of the bloodstained clothing of his fallen allies out on the field. Ten years of this had he lived. Half of his life spent in one battle. The war's end would never come. Outside his tent, he heard the enemies armies scream defiantly in their wretched earsplitting voices. It was like glass breaking and phlemy singing. Their drumming, it had no sense, no symetry. It just rang out all day all night. He figured he had best get prepared for the days bloodshed.
He leaned up and pulled his coat off the center peg of his tent. He would not be wearing today, the star beat its anger onto the battlefield, at least the enemy would grow tired today. At least, untill nightfall. From his coat he pulled out a little wooden box with brass hinges. The top bore the engravement of his People. The last of the like, the only of the like. Twelve of them, all brothers. All convicted of heinous crimes against the multiverse. All broken. Inside the box there lay an assortment of items. He pulled out the small leather envelope. This had the only thing that silenced his inner chaos that was only fueled by the constant bloodshed. A small bundle of tiny needle leaves. He took one out and chewed it vigorously. The familiar sensation ran through his body. The same sensation that used to put him in convulsions. A strong stuff made for only the immortals as an intoxicant. Still he had developed his tolerance.
He stood now energized grabbed his sword, his gun, and his hat. His sword was made specificly for him by the same being that created him. Despite the many battles it had survived, it gleamed with perfection. The handle of the curved double edged blade was made of a material he did not know. He only knew that it was light and strong yet, it felt as if it longed for his hand. His gun on the other hand. He made himself. Cold blue all save for the handle. The handle and grips were of a siverish mettle that he had stolen from an old Machinists corpse. It was not as light as his sword, but it was small and rarely failed him. The rounds were not like bullets. They were made of his blood. This gun operated off of his volition. When he intends to use it the weapon shoots out needles into his hand and wrist drawing his blood to build rounds. The secrets to this gun have yet to be discovered by those who wish to hold it. The last man that held Malykai's creation lost his life as the same needles that took blood from Malykai, injected a black liquid into its victim casing him to gouge out his own covetous eyes. He bled to death slowly, too poisoned, too terrorfied to move.
The Red Sky and black whisps of smoke from the burning of the dead were familiar sights to Malykai. He strode out toward the ensuing battle, tying his thick locks of raven hair into a small not in the top of his head, and putting on his dark wide brimed hat he surveyed the current environment. His dark green eyes saw farther than most, keener than most. The enemy had rallied, They were waving the arms of their victims in celebration. Heads bobbed on long pikes. Those who faught with Malykai stayed far from him. They feared him. As well they should have. He had killed twenty of them while having a nightmare about Kespit, (which is a place you will hear of later). despite their distrust and fear of him, he dotted on them in his own way. They looked defeated. The wounded stood in the rear assembly still armed and struggling to remain concious. The fear could be smelled by a rock.
The enemy, still in its little morale boost screamed out their horrible triumphs in a gutteral tongue that none would wish to understand. They were the Sohmb. A diseased race that used to be men. They had become afflicted with a disease that killed whatever humanity they once possesed. If the disease did not take effect on one of their own soon enough. They would rape the person and enslave them as a concubine. Sad luck for any of this battle who managed to mingle their blood with that of the Sohmb. Their eyes were nonexistant. The Sohmb would put the teeth of the dead in their eye sockets. No one knew why. Their skin changed from the texture of normal human skin. It mutated into a leathery warty grey hide that grew small spines. One would have to take care not to touch those spines or be pricked by one. They administered a toxin far worse than the disease of the Sohmb. Despite their hideous features, the Sohmb were amoung the fiercest in battle. Ruthless killers with a sense of unity among them, unfathomable. When one of theirs falls, the surronding Sohmb grow stronger. They armed themselves with makeshift weapons, Stolen weapons, the body parts of their own fallen. Just yesterday Malykai had shot down one who wielded a rusty logging chain with the heads of his two closest partners on it. It could be assesed in brief, that the Sohmb were vile.
To be continued......©XIIGreyXII | | |
| I have tried to sleep again and found myself pulled back in front of this keyboard. Not by a desire to sit at my computer mind you, but something new. The numbers of my tag are important things it would seem. They have stuck to me since my youth. I feel tonight a strange new energy. A new player in the midsts perhaps....A new awoken soul? It could not be, but then it could.
The Significance of XII
There are ten items of elemental importance. Most see only the basic four. I do not claim to understand all of them. I just know for each planet there is a piece in us. It is a system of creation. Our solar system is a pallete for a devine artist, or artists. The star enabling the survival of our bodies and the rest of the organisms on the planet, is the Eye of the Artist or Artists. So there is another I. Mark in the path so to speak. The last I represents self. A notion that is flawed but none are without. There are other meanings to this number, such as each mark shows a growth in cosmic awareness. Twelve being the final step before death of body. Though I am for sure still piecing together the puzzle, I am sure of the peices all being there on a genrall level.
Ok I dont know why I had to blab that out... there is more to it. But I have lost my attention span with explaining it.
This may throw some of you off. But I have to bring up a different subject. It has been on my mind for a while. The other day someone asked me if Jesus really existed. I of course asked them how they defined existance. The individual meant in the time of his life. So staying with the tangibles I told him that scientific media has said that a man fitting his description and circumstances of death existed. Well this got me thinking.
We as in our country, utilize alot of different philosophies in our social matrix. Aristitle, Socretes, Plataue, Confucious and so on and so forth. Well, I have obvious reservations about many of the Greek minds. I will not get into those personal objections. Anyway, gosh get off the subject Grey? If one took away all the fantastic tales of miracles, you know like walking on water and turning water to wine...(yummm), what would you have left? You would have a man who walked around telling people to be nice to each other. A man who believed he was dying for the entire existance of mankind. Now a Christain would tell me he was no man. I hate to say this, but a christian would be the first to discredit such a man if he stood before one. That is if it was done without the fantastic glowing of light and the voice of flooding waters. So Jesus was this guy, who walked around changing lives. Talking about his God that he worshiped. I wonder did he use the word God? Or was that an embellishment by the church and the writers. The idea of God, is non gender specific. I have to use words like Creator, or Devine artist to get my point across with religious diplomacy. I am not a Christain, by any means. I after establishing the whole of the philosopher in this historic catyclysmic life, rethought of the miracles. It from the fantastic descriptions, sound if you rationalize it, like this man, invoked the power of his creator. Just like anyone else would do. So it is thesable, that these things may have occured. I had to contemplate a long time to come to that conclusion. Given the hype Jesus gets from the fundamental branches of Christians that milk each other dry for the sake of nothing. Here is a funny thought. Most of todays Christians, celebrate Christmas. But on this day that is so sacred to them, they tell their children of a man who is garrbed in red and brings them presents. They lie, and they discredit the effect of the pinnacle of their worship all in one. What kid is going to want to think about some dead guy when there is an ever so fascinating man in a red suit with toys? Sorry, could not help but notice that. So the way to win an argument with a fundie is ask them if they tell their children about santa claus. lol
Anyway enough of that, I hope all are well, I still am working out alot of mental refuse. So bear with the strange thoughts if you can. And please do not take my mental wanderings on Jesus out of context. I am not going to come around and tell you that some guy decided his blood was going to be the means for your eternal existance. Becuase from what I gather from between the lines of the bible, is that we were going to live forever anyway untill some other energy soucre consumes us or destroys us. There are parts of it I can find thesable, but others I can not. At least not in the way a christian would. I wonder does that make me,(despite my distaste for power seekers) one of the afamed Legion. I certainly do not see how as all any belief system is, is a means of compiling complex issues into symbols and labels to make it easier to understand. I often wonder why people decide to argue over what words and what symbols are correct. If they work for you and they come from your heart and sound that cosmic tuning fork for you then you need not worry over it. I suppose it gets all messed up once you throw money and controll in. The Empires of the Earth used Religion on its own people as a means of enforcement. The Empires of the Earth still utilize the foundations of these religions in their laws and social ethics. How many more thousand years will pass before we catch on? Are we progressing? I mean a mountain finds us to be young, but does our creator or creators think we are progressing? I dont. But then, I am in the deep of the forrest compared to devine perspective. So I would not, I see only the sickness of the trees. And there somewhere through these cosmic treetops I see light as the wind blows the leaves just enough to let it through the canopy. So Pagans, Wiccans, friends and enemies, try not to discount what something is for the way it was presented to you. Rather try to make it fit and let the pool of knowledge grow.
That is all for now I suppose....Goodnight.
XIIGREYXII | | |
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They spoke heedless of ear fed motivations. As if lifes essence were manifest through wagging tongue they chattered on. The pain resided thereafter. The buzz of speed left lies unnetted. Onward speaking the irrational as it were scientific fact. Holes open to welcome coffin and ash. Still as clouds made black the once healthy sky they ranted, raved. Each striving selfishly to better feed the fantasies of ego. Each deafened by the wanderings of tongue. They could not hear her whimper. The could not feel her death. So caught up in the fantasies of self were they with their ignorant boasts of astounding intellect. Hear the fallen stool they did not. Hear the stretching of rope gainst wood. Now she watches them with lifeless eyes. She dangles there dead but aware. In the silence of death she found no respit from the echoes of life. They with their debating. Their constant comparisons and wretched allegations. Niether listening to the other save for a good counter. As their vocal cords clicked and vibrated along endlessly she began to rot.
They told her twas love. Flowers and sweet poetry littered along the floor with her swaying shadow. The expensive machines they flaunted her in. A trophy, a conquest, a woman. Even in death her beauty lit the dismal room with hope. She loved neither they nor their wretched money. She was perhaps the closest to perfection since dust comprised flesh. Now dead and returning ever so slowly to dust.
She watches unslept, unoticed, withering in death. A young broken vessel. Still they discussed money and their precious laws protecting technology all in the intrest of humanity. All the words they spoke.
All the false intentions. She is dead.
XII
Halved by fear the divided fell. The reflection hurt as flesh aged. Outside to the open labrynth. A ball bounces as a little boy laughs. A lurker in shadow rustles bush. Domestic. A black river fumming toxins and rolling life. A bad mingle. But onward. Obesity climbs the ladder of sloth. Up never the goal. A saddened couple curses life as death finds yet another of the unborn. The slayers belly full.
A melting landscape is a memory out of place. The lies mingled with intended honesty and sin attacked the moral puppeteer of twisted perception. The falling tears go unvoiced. I sit and watch you all. I who has endured the poisons you failed to save me from. I who traveled unheeding of your creations. I watch you. Most days you all get cursed out by the "demon" that argues with me. Often I can not help but agree. The truth is not a drink for the weak. A bitter burning stuff that lightens the load for the sake of soul. But who is seeing the need? I walk this world of wheels. Thousands of miles traversed by means of foot and knee. You have seen me, but as part of the same melting landscape you try to forget. That short fellow garbed in black along the side of the road. I wont let you. Nor will any who are of my nature. For we are your gaurdians. And we protect you from ourselves. Even as you write your numbers on paper to bring food home and find your rooves, we protect you. You find your sense of self worth in your numbers your structures and your insticual weaknesses. Truth hurts as I must do the same to keep you alive. Keep your thanks, save them for some one more like yourselves. As you celebrate my death I will find peace in nonexistance as your suffering is only prolonged. I am beyond apathy, beyond pain.. The axe is held high. It glitters neath moonbeam. It gleams under morning sun. As your voices become the unified sob that shakes the most distant shadows, truth will remain. As all your attempts at creation rust and crumble, light will shine elsewhere. As you hide your frightened heads, the sands of your time will render. As for me I'll be watching........ not that I blame you for my suffering as you will undoubtedly blame me for yours. More I blame myself for trying to be one of you. For enjoying a good fuck, for wanting the unnesacery, and for my desire to be your undoing. I assure you race of humans, I may medicly resemble you in every fashion and funtion, but sadly I can not be one of you. You are blinded by your bodies, you lack the sight of the dead. You fail to become the intention. As have I. But you, those of who find this offensive, will not admit it. In spite, a few labled flaws thrown on the table will not suffice. You lack humility. You will not be admonished for you mistakes as you see it. You will all learn "your own way". So go ahead, spend your paper and flaunt your rocks, shine your cars and ingest your poisons for the wrong reasons. Ill just watch. It is funny to watch you all debate over God. One side removing the existance the other the belivers and faithers too locked in symantics to gain a steady foothold. Then the side who removed the existance throws curves at the other through political struggle. Laws are passed and vetoed. Comedians symanticly use laughter as an offensive for the despisers of belief. The believers all in their broken groups of conflicting selfish intrests make easy targets. The man who played the most nescacerry part in creating your most powerful weopon believed in a God. He knew not what to call this being. But I believe the quote indicated his belief in a devine engineer. Theasable isn't it. Actually that quote altered my perception over years. The big bang and evolution verses a bunch of stories of magic and miracles. Well, as your current leaders still play out that debate I'll let you in on a secret. Stories are never told pefectly, but words change and it is possible for a "big bang" to be orchestrated by a devine being. Evolution, a meer tool in shaping the same bodies you are blinded by. But what will your machines think when you want them to call you God. If this devine engineer had an advesary that made you all flesh aware, whats to stop your advesaries from making your creations so. Will your machines debate over your existance a few billion years from now? It does not matter really. Fear of pain dictates your actions. Another difference from you and I. You, those who find this offensive anyway, will not kill because of your fears regaurding death, rape, and isolation. I do not kill because it is not yet nesacerry. I do desire it to a point. But I do not fear death, isolation, rape, or pain. I do not enjoy them, but I do not exactly see them as objects to enforce me either. Your laws do not apply to me. They just happen to coincide with me enough for those cracks to find me. Convienient isn't it. There are more like me. Watching, waiting. Some will turn to violence and fail in their battle within. I have maintained in conciousness. As rest finds me however, the violence can slip out. I struggle in agony to not harm you in both my waking and sleeping hours. Remember though, that does not mean I approve of your actions or my own. It really is not you I do not approve more your primitive mentalities. Sure you upgrade the toys, and oooh you figured out that skin color does not apply to the human worth, but you have yet to unify your world. You have not seen that racism is inevitable, that predjiduce is the truest malfuntion. You can not overcome your numbered paper. You can not overcome your sexual impulses. Your predators, are weak minded imbiciles with to much free time. Though many a murderer can achieve a savant like perfection in murder their reasoning is malfuntioned. Your rapists pathetic. Your terrorists are nothing more than attention deprived children who "need" their respect. Those morons have yet to learn that respect and fear are two different things. Your criminals save a few evolutionary minds are no testimony to your growth. Your social and commercial psudeo structures are weak basic mob mentality beta mind frame antics. Completely missing the points of philosophy that render your Aristotle and Socratese into emotional terrorists. You base so much off of the words of those two child molestors. Funny.
This I must admitt, though it is painfully clear it will not aid you. In every one of you I meet I find a specific beauty and genius. A cleanthiness that even I can be envious upon seeing. A purity in heart, (though painfully neglected) that makes me weep at its frozen perfection. There is good in you all. A worthyness unparralelled by any other creation my tattered imagination can muster. Alas you ignore these gems of true self preservation. At least untill you need them to make money or get help. So you lock quality away not allowing it to breath or evolve. Your fears are manifesting. I can only protect you from myself or others like me, not yourselves. Why would I protect you? You are the reason for my strife, the slayers of my grace and the murderers of unborn children. Sometimes its hard, my demon is an excellent debater. Your ibuprofen genrally helps with those headaches. See if when I looked into your eyes I saw only filth, if I saw a lack of the ignored qualities previously mentioned in a majority of you......I would fall from my perch swooping down on a many, a great bird of prey tearing flesh, devouring life, making your energies my own and insuring some prolonged existance. But one thing saves you all from me, one solitary infitesimal flickering distant pin point of light in an abyss of light consuming darkness.....hope.
Well Theres a rant for you.....Not really directed at anyone in particular, except for those who find it offensive..... | | |
| You know there are lessons in everything. Even the rock that sits neath the freezing soul holds some degree of wisdom, a puzzle piece to be fit into the scheme. My worries, often questionable in the eyes of my peers. I spent some time in a dark place, about two years. I have been foolish to enough to devuldge information about this dark place to some that have meaning to me. To them, I appologise. I do not really feel worry over them thinking I am silly. Only becuase I know I am not.
Angyl, you have been so sweet to me. I am sorry I have told you about some things in my life that could effect you in a way that is not acceptable. You see, I have seen the group we discussed, break down the most faithfull of Pagans, of Christians even three Muslims. They do human math. They are excelent at it. I have seen psycologists lose their proffesions, and people have died. This is not just a teenage paranoia, or some halfwit conspiracy thing. This is a Group of poisoners of the world. Outwardly friendly. Inwardly, scheming, calculating, manipulators. I worry Angyl, this is not about underestimating you. I worry over two things. You go, they know. Then the really frightening one, they could be the friends you are going to see. I could have been telling you about old friends. All this time. Me no more then an entity that manifests itself to you through a photograph, a moving picture, and a few ill constructed sentances. See, they told me once. I stain people. I make it known to all who see, that I was there. Even if only through the means I have with you. You need take care. Enjoy your friends. But take care. If you go to Deltona, Deland, Cassadega, Ormand, Ormand by the sea, Or the Red beach, take care. In Cassadega you may find something of peace. You will enjoy Cassadega. Go there. Deltona, well, I have a group of searches working on a history of the city for me, you see in that place, fathers do strange things. Fathers kill themselves. Genrally (not in all cases), after making some personally unfogivable transgresion againts those they love. It is also a place that is easy to get lost in. So be carefull if you go to Deltona. Deland, is the crossroads. A Colledge town, with Stetson University. If you go there, stop at the Ihop on woodland blvd. any time you have need to rest. I know the managers there. The afore mentioned beaches, well, those should not present a problem as long as you go bearing in mind the things I have told you. I will be calling you at some point angyl. You are going to heart of my personal hell. The same grounds I have been telling you about for so long. That is the area where you go. lol OF COURSE I WILL BE WORRIED! I am sorry if you find this to be a nuisance. I just have to make sure you are prepared for the worst. OK....Talk to you later.
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| You know there are times when I behave foolishly. But then who does not? I am thinking of the last time I drank and shared information on a disease with a chat room. Well, when I am not saturated in inhibition, and someone basicly undermines the validity of something I am saying, I react poorly. I called some girl that I drunkenly thought was a man a douchebag in several variatrions of the spelling. I do not like calling people names. I do not understand why I called her that repeatedly, aside from the fact that the shoe seemed to fit at the time so I kept teller her to put it on. LOL As far as theother things I said to her. I regretfully was to drunk to read and type well enough to explain them to her in my usual way. Oh well...Its kind of funny. Perhaps it would make me feel a little better about it if I explain it here. You know find that ever so important resolve...LOL
I recall telling her that she was trying to save her face. That her vanity had attacked her. That she was afraid. And that she was ignorant. Well she had several good points against the drunken Grey. LOL A shame really that I can not funtion properly when intoxicated. Anyway, in insances when one discounts something that they do not even know about I would call that a degree of ignorance. It is the same as (forgive the example) A hardcore christian saying there is no goddess because she has never touched them in a way they could understand. Well, as far as fear feeding the ignorance, who wants to lose the passtime of carnal pleasure do to a cancer causing virus. Shit I will admit it that scares me. I hope I am coveying the connection of those two in a simple way. Thirdly I informed her that her vanity was another factor in her behavior. Well, that was working on the both of us. It is easy not to notice the fact that you are being a ham when you have ham support. So you take the vanity and the desire to be liked(the need to fill an emotional void), and you mingle it with some information, some denail, some ignorant undermining, some selfish fear, and you throw that at a drunken Grey One as he is trying to be nice to people he does not know, well, you know the outcome. I am not saying I behaved properly, I know I did not convey things to her well, and usually in a situation like that I can wash dirt away make new. I however also used her as a beating pole for other things I would imagine. I did not use her well for that. I wish considering the use of another as an emotional toilet, I was sober and got rid of some more, items of indignancy. Regretfully, it did not go as I wished. LOL As far as all those who feel the need to hold such above my head....well, they can, granted if some were disappointed in that, I could understand, still, nothing that is on this planet is perfect, and if I am not entitled to make a few mistakes then....well why should I care? I will make mistakes. I will be happy that I made mistakes. I know also that it is not up to others to correct me or defend me. It is not their responsiblility, but to some I will thank you, and to others, don't be DOUCHEBAGS when I am drunk, it only happens like once a month if that....lol. J/k maybe.......
Not that I have any expectations of any that dance with me on this web trying to instigate the spiders attention. And SUZ< ANGYL<SUNSET<HAWK<SIREN<I am glad to know you as well as I seem to. You warm me, you watch out for me, you make me blush, I just can not say anything that satifies the depth of gratitude I want you all to be able to appreciate. It is too complex and vast an emotion. And I have to go to work...LOL
BYE
XIITHE_GREY_ONEXII | | |
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